A Woman's Place - Experiencing freedom and healing from sin and wounds through Christ!

Experiencing freedom and healing from sin and wounds through Christ!

“And the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” II Corinthians 3:17

Written by Kathy Shaw

Contents:

The first through third lessons are about bringing our self, pain, and sin to God knowing that His ministry is to the wounded and that He loves and cares for us as our heavenly Father. The fourth through sixth lessons are about laying down our pride and dealing with our sin through real godly sorrow that results in taking personal responsibility for our sin. Also, accepting God’s forgiveness instead of lingering in guilt and shame and working on biblical steps to overcome our past. Lesson seven is about being filled with God's Spirit and experiencing the true freedom that His Spirit brings. Lessons eight through twelve are about releasing damaging emotions that hinder our freedom. Lesson thirteen is about allowing all of our wounds and pain to become a purposeful blessing for our future and for others.

1.) Seven Wounds

(Facing the truth of our pain)

2.) Jesus, The Wounded Healer

(Surrendering our pain to God)

3.) Trusting God

(Building a foundation of trust in the Lord)

4.) Sin, The Root of Our Problems

(Laying down our pride in godly sorrow)

5.) Taking Personal Responsibility For Our Sin

(The results of true repentance)

6.) Accepting God’s Forgiveness and Forgetting Our Past

(Closing the door to the old nature of the flesh so we can open the door to a new walk)

7.) Receiving the Holy Spirit

(Walking in newness of life and the freedom that the spirit brings)

8.) Letting Go of Unforgiveness

(Allowing our heart to be free from bitterness and free to love)

9.) Letting Go of Sinful Anger

(Allowing our heart to be free from disappointment and free to have joy)

10.) Letting Go of Controlling Fears

(Allowing our heart to be free from worry and free to trust)

11.) Letting Go of The Fear of Failure

(Embracing change)

12.) Letting Go of Negative Attitudes

(Allowing our heart to be free from five negative attitudes that hinder our freedom) 13.) Embracing God’s Plan For Our Past (Finding God’s purpose)

Lesson One: Seven types of wounds

(Facing the truth of our pain)

1.) We all have been wounded or hurt in some way or area of our life. Whether the wound has been a result of our own poor choices, our sin and rebellion, or the sins of someone else wounding us, our heart must be healed and made free. God cares more about how we have responded to the wounds and the attitudes of which we have allowed to remain in our heart than the actual wound itself.

a.) Physical: Physical abuse by someone, a disease, an accident or a disability.
b.) Verbal: Words of discouragement, rejection and ridicule aimed at destroying ones

character.
c.) Sexual: Being taken advantage of sexually by someone by force, fear or

manipulation.
d.) Spiritual: Being hurt by church believers, leadership or the clergy.
e.) Social: Being ignored, abandoned, bullied, embarrassed, excluded or attacked by

others.
f.) Emotional: Aching inside, feeling confused, feeling a black cloud of judgment &

hurt.
g.) Choices: Making sinful, selfish, foolish and poor choices.
2.) Pain is the point where God meets us. He doesn’t meet us at the point of our strengths or perfections but as a sinner and as one who is broken, hurting and in need of a Savior.

Rom 5:6-8 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Isa 57:15 For thus says the high and lofty One who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: dwell in the high and holy place, with him also who is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite.

a.) Pain is inevitable as we live in a fallen world where the devil and sin reigns.

Gen 6:5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

Psa 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

1Jn 3:8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.

b.) God has given man free will to choose between good and evil. To choose righteousness or sin. This means that others are capable of making bad or sinful choices therefore some may become the victim of others wrong or sinful choices.

Jos 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

c.) God uses pain to “get our attention to tell us that something is wrong”. Your symptoms of depression, anger or fear are a wake-up call to get help.

Psa 107:6 Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses.

d.) God uses pain to “teach us to depend on him”. You will never know that God is all you need until God is all you’ve got.

Psa 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

e.) God allows pain to “give us a ministry to comfort others”. Pain can make us sympathetic and sensitive to others.

2Co 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

3.) The Lord came to “heal your wounds that are bringing pain”. His ministry is that he heals, delivers, recovers and brings liberty and freedom to the wounded, broken and bound soul.

Exo 15:26 .... for I am the LORD that healeth thee.
Psa 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds

Jer 30:17 For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD.

Luk 4:18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.

2Co 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

4.) A natural wound has to be “opened up and examined”. The first step to emotional healing is to “open our heart and face the truth of our pain”. This means that we may have to feel worse before we can get better because we have to face the pain we are not dealing with in order to get past the depression, anxiety, an addiction or whatever we have been wounded by. We can no longer be in denial but must become vulnerable.

Psa 25:16-18 Turn Yourself to me, and have mercy on me, For I am desolate and afflicted.The troubles of my heart have enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses! Look on my affliction and my pain, And forgive all my sins.

Psa 51:6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward part.

5.) A natural wound has to be “drained and cleaned” so infection doesn’t set in. Through “applying Gods Word of truth, light and instruction” any emotional infectious wounds can be cleansed and brought to the light of the truth.

Psa 107:20 He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions

Joh 17:17 Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.

Heb 4:12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Joh 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life.”

6.) A natural wound has to be “medicated” in order to heal. Through “allowing the Holy Spirit and God’s presence” to work in our heart, we will experience the comfort, refreshing and freedom needed for those wounds to be medicated and healed.

Joh 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

Act 3:19 Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord.

2Co 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (freedom).

7.) Besides God, his Word and his Spirit bringing healing to our wounds, the bible tells us that there is also healing through “confession”. When we confess our faults to someone who is righteous and is a prayerful support we will experience emotional healing.

Jas 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Ecc 4:9-10 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Lesson Two: Jesus, the wounded healer

(Surrendering our pain to God)

1.) Jesus was wounded. He experienced many things during his earthly ministry. His peers and family rejected him, he was mocked, scorned and belittled while trying to minister to others, he was tempted to sin by the devil, he was falsely accused while trying to help others, and he willingly endured a painful, sorrowful, agonizing crucifixion by those that hated his ministry.

a.) In his humanity he was rejected by peers, friends and family. (Judas –Matt 26:14- 16, Peter-Matt 26:69-75, Family- Jh 1:11)
b.) He sorrowed over the lost and at Calvary. (Jh 11:33-35, Lk 19:41, Is 53:2-5)

c.) He was mocked, scorned and belittled while trying to do good and minister to

others. (Mk 15:29-30, Lk 16:14, Jh 5:16, Jh 10:20)
d.) He was tempted by the devil to sin. (Matt 4)
e.) In his trial he listened to false accusations against himself. (Matt 27:40) f.) He endured painful emotions and agony knowing he was going to suffer

undeservingly on the cross. (Matt 26:37-38)
g.) He suffered horrifying physical pain and abuse on the cross. (Is 50:6, Matt

27:22-54)

2.) He endured all this wounding because of his great love to redeem humanity from the awful bondage of sin. His death brought our redemption and victory. We were the guilty ones who deserved to die in our sinful state but he took our place and bore our guilt and sorrow instead so we could be healed. He is the wounded healer!

Mat 20:28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

Isa 53:2-5 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

3.) All of his suffering, wounding and experiences in his humanity have allowed him to feel our suffering and weaknesses. He does not just understand the “facts” of our infirmities, but more importantly he understands the “feelings” of our infirmities therefore he is able to sympathize with us.

Hebrews 4:15-16 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

4.) God doesn’t want you to bear your pain alone anymore. He wants to bear it with you by caring for, feeling and eventually taking all the sorrow and grief that you have been carrying. He already paid the price for your wounds to be healed at Calvary but you have to choose to call on and surrender them all to him.

Psa 18:6 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

I Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Lesson Three: TRUSTING God

(Building a foundation of trust in the Lord)

1.) Being wounded can mean that one’s trust has been violated or shattered. When our trust has been violated by man it may take time and effort for that trust to be restored because trust is not given by others but is earned. Because our trust may have been violated we may have a hard time trusting God also. In order for us to build a loving relationship with God we must establish a foundation of trust. The Bible tells us that we cannot fully trust man but that we can trust God and find true safety in him.

Pro 29:25 The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.

2.) One way that we can establish a foundation of trust in God is to explore his great love for us. The bible says that there is no greater love than someone who would lay down their life for their friends. God did this at Calvary. He laid down his life for us because he loved us so much!

a.) God’s love “gave”. He gave his life for your salvation and freedom.

Joh 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.

b.) God’s love “chooses”. He chose us because he wants to love us as his own.

Deu 7:6 "For you are a holy people to the LORD your God; the LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth.

1Pe 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;

1Jn 3:1 Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.

c.) God’s love is “everlasting”. He never stops loving us.

Jer 31:3 The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.

d.) God’s love is absent from “fear”. We don’t have to be afraid of him.
1Jn 4:16-18 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and

he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in

this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

3.) Another way that we can establish a foundation of trust in God is to study the ways that he cares for us thus revealing his character. Through his love and care, he provides and fulfills the deepest needs that we have.

a.) He has compassion on us which means he “feels” our pain.

Mat 14:14 And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick.

b.) He places value and worth upon our life.

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Genesis 1:31 Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good.

Psalm 139:13 For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb and that my soul knows very well. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are your works.

c.) He is forgiving and merciful when we sin or fall.

Joe 2:13 So rend your heart, and not your garments; Return to the LORD your God, For He is gracious and merciful, Slow to anger, and of great kindness; And He relents from doing harm.

Pro 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

d.) He is truth and he keeps his word and promises.

Joh 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

Deu 32:4 He is the Rock, His work is perfect; For all His ways are justice, A God of truth and without injustice; Righteous and upright is He.

Num 23:19 "God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?

Tit 1:2 In hope of eternal life which God, who cannot lie, promised before time began.

2Pe 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

e.) He is faithful to never leave or abandon us.

1Sa 12:22 For the LORD will not forsake his people for his great name's sake: because it hath pleased the LORD to make you his people.

Heb 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU."

Rom 8:35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: "FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE KILLED ALL DAY LONG; WE ARE ACCOUNTED AS SHEEP FOR THE SLAUGHTER." Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

f.) He provides us with purpose through our worship and relationship with him!

Mat 22:37-39 Jesus said to him, 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF

Isa 43:7 Everyone who is called by My name, Whom I have created for my glory; I have formed him, yes, I have made him.

Colossians 1:16 For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him.

g.) He provides us with blessings and gifts.

Mat 7:11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Jh 15:16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you. (Heb 11:6)

Php 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

h.) He provides us with a hope and a future .

Jer 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

1Co 2:9 But as it is written: "EYE HAS NOT SEEN, NOR EAR HEARD, NOR HAVE ENTERED INTO THE HEART OF MAN THE THINGS WHICH GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM."

1Jn 3:2-3 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.

Rev 21:2 Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

Lesson Four: Sin, the root of our problems

(Laying down our pride in godly sorrow)

1.) What is sin? Sin is unrighteousness and the nature of the devil.

Jn 5:17 All unrighteousness is sin.

1Jn 3:8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.

2.) Because mankind was born with this sinful nature he is capable of choosing to think and act out in sinful (wicked) ways. Abuse and evil deeds are the results of allowing sin to dominate and control one’s life. God’s love doesn’t abuse or hurt others.

Gen 6:5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

Psa 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

3.) The nature of sin seeks self interests first regardless of God’s will for our lives and how he desires for us to live. It focuses on gratifying self, exalting self, serving self, pleasing self, and meeting the needs of self. Sin has a big I in the middle! It is doing things OUR way instead of God’s way. It will willingly compromise integrity, truth, justice, honor and faithfulness to God.

a.) The devil, the most beautiful talented angel, was cast down from heaven because of his selfish pride. In his pride, he wanted to be in charge of his life!

Isa 14:12-15 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.

b.) Sometimes instead of letting God control our lives we want to be in charge. We take charge by controlling our image and pretending that everything is okay. We control others through manipulation. We try to avoid and escape our pain through various means like substance abuse, over achieving, over working, over indulging and isolating ourselves from others.)

Mat 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

2Co 5:15 And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.

4.) Sin leaves us with horrible consequences to bear:

a.) Fear: We try to control our life so it becomes more than we can handle leaving us afraid to be vulnerable and real with God and others.

b.) Frustration: We are miserable and depressed.
c). Fatigue: We are tired and weary from carrying such a big load. We have no

joy.
d.) Failure: We feel we cannot change so we become hopeless and keep

sinning.
e.) Guilt: We are ashamed of ourselves so we hide.
f.) Pride: We fear being known or caught so we protect the sin and lies.
g.) Separation from God: We cannot feel God’s presence freely because we are

not willing to surrender our sin battle. (Is 59:2)
h.) Bondage: We are bound and addicted (Rom 6:14-16)
i.) Spiritual Death: Sin kills our spiritual senses we are dead spiritually. (Jm 1:15)

5.) Jesus came to “save us from our sin”. He did not come to condemn or make us feel guilty. The word “save” means to heal. He came to heal what was broken, to help us overcome and get past them.

Mat 1:21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

Joh 3:17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

6.) The way that we are saved from sin is through “godly sorrow” that leads to repentance. Godly sorrow doesn’t make us feel condemned and guilty because guilt just makes us feel bad about our self therefore doesn’t give us any motivation to change. Godly sorrow allows us to feel sad about how our sin affects God, those around us and about the consequences of our behavior. Because this sorrow is motivated by a love for God and others we begin to make changes for the good in our lives.

II Cor 7:10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation.

Pro 28:13 He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy

7.) Repentance is laying down our pride, and confessing all our hurts and sins to God.

1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness

8.) When we repent then God replaces all the heaviness and burden of sin, with forgiveness, rest and refreshing.

Act 3:19 Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord.

Mat 11:28-30 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

9.) When we are baptized into water in the name of Jesus Christ, the bible says all of our sins are not just forgiven but are washed away.

Act 22:16 And now why are you waiting? Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord.

Act 2:38 Then Peter said to them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Sins to repent of:

Self Examination:

We must be careful to repent of any sins that we have opened the door to. If we are aware of what areas we have made our self vulnerable to then we will have gained wisdom on how to beware and overcome future temptation. The devil will always try to regain entrance into our lives even after we repent so we must be aware.

2Co 2:11 Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices. 1.) Sins of the flesh: (Eph 4:31, Col 3:8, Titus 3:9, Rom 1:29-31, I Cor 6:9, Gal 5:21)

a.) Sins of Unbelief and Fear: hopelessness, anxiety, worry, guilt, torment, stress, depression, fear of man, fear of death.

2.) Sins of Witchcraft & the Occult: Rebellion, magic, fortunetelling, palm reading, new age, drugs, sorcery, horoscopes.

3.) Sexual Sins: Adultery, fornication, lust, homosexuality, lesbianism, perversion, pornography, incest, molestation, rape, prostitution, lasciviousness, effeminate.

4.) Sins of Lying: Slander, gossip, accusations, flattery, deception, superstitions, false prophecy, stealing.

5.) Sins of Pride: Arrogant, contentious, scornful, perfectionism, manipulation, control, criticism, complaining, self righteousness, self reliance, idleness, deception, unsubmissive and rebellious.

6.) Sins of Anger: hate, rage, bitterness, unforgiveness, malice, murder, jealous, envious

7.) Sins of Speech: evil speaking, foolish jesting, gossip, cursing, backbiting, lying. 2.) Pray for TRUTH (God & his Word) to discern your heart as well as bring light and

understanding for overcoming the sin’s you have wrestled with.

Joh 17:17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.

Joh 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Heb 4:12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Joh 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Lesson Five: Taking personal responsibility for our sin

(The results of true repentance)

1.)True repentance, which is a result of godly sorrow, will motivate us to take personal responsibility for our sin. By taking personal responsibility for our sin we are willing to see ourselves as responsible for our sin, not others or our circumstances. We are able to view our sin in light of God’s Word, be honest in confession and brokenness when we have fallen, and make prayerful, intentional effort to forsake all future sin.

2.) We take ownership of our sin by looking inward and personally owning and repenting of any known sin. We stop “blaming others” and pushing the problem onto them which is only a means for us to avoid handling the problem our self. We are each judged individually for our sin regardless of what others may or may not have done.

Ps 51:3 For I acknowledge MY transgressions, And MY sin is always before Me.

a.) God judged Adam, Eve and the Serpent with individual judgments when they sinned. He did not judge them as a family unit proving that we are each responsible for our portion of the sin regardless of what others did or did not do or if they were involved or not.

Gen 3:11-18 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field.

Eze 18:20-21 The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.

4.) We take personal responsibility for our choices and actions instead of “blaming our circumstances” for the choices we have made. The circumstances and hard trials of our life serve as tools to reveal the spiritual condition that our heart is already in. The bible declares that it is the “sinful, lustful element in our heart” that causes us to sin not our circumstances.

Jas 1:13-15 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

a.) Many in the bible experienced hard circumstances yet remained pure and sinless before God.

Job 1:22; 23:10 - In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly. But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

Gen 39:9 There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God? Gen 50:19-20 And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Dan 3:14-18 Nebuchadnezzar spake and said unto them, Is it true, O Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, do not ye serve my gods, nor worship the golden image which I have set up? Now if ye be ready that at what time ye hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer, and all kinds of musick, ye fall down and worship the image which I have made; well: but if ye worship not, ye shall be cast the same hour into the midst of a burning fiery furnace; and who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands? Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.

5.) We take personal responsibility for our sin “by viewing it in the light of what God’s Word says about it” instead of “justifying” it and seeing it as just a bad habit. If Gods Word says it is sin and will result in eternal damnation then we are responsible to acknowledge what Gods word says and to obey it.

Gal 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

1Co 6:9-10 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

Rom 1:29-32 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

6.) We take personal responsibility for our sin “in honest confession and brokenness” when we have fallen knowing that he is merciful to forgive us instead of “hiding in isolation and guilt”. We don’t have to be afraid of God as his love contains no fear and he promises to forgive us and have mercy on us.

Gen 3:8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.

1Jn 1:8-10 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Psa 103:10-12 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Psa 51:2-3, 16,17 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

1Jn 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

7.) We take personal responsibility “to forsake all sin”. We are prayerfully and intentionally making every effort to “stop allowing sinful habits to control and enslave us” by not yielding and giving ourselves to partake of them. We are asking God to give us power and victory to help us not continue to make any provision for our flesh.

Rom 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Prov 28:13 He that covereth (or justifies) his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy

Rom 6:6 Knowing this, that my old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that I should no longer be a slave of sin.

Rom 13:14 I will put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.
Gal 5:24 Those who are Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Lesson Six: Accepting God’s forgiveness and forgetting our past

(Closing the door to the old nature of the flesh so we can open the door to a new walk)

1.) Accept God’s forgiveness for you! When you have confessed and repented of your sin, he promises and chooses to cleanse, remove, and blot out all sin.

Isa 43:25 "I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins. (hold them against us)

Heb 10:17 And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.

I Jhn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

2.) God also chooses “to not remember our sin” anymore by abundantly pardoning us which means that he chooses not to hold our sin against us.

Isa 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will

abundantly pardon.

3.) If God doesn’t hold our sin against us anymore why should we? Many people who claim to know God are walking around in the same old sinful feelings of defeat, guilt and shame. This is not the will of God. He wants our mind cleansed from the old nature. We must accept God’s work on Calvary and his forgiveness over our past and believe and receive it with faith and thanksgiving.

Heb 9:14 how much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

Heb 10:22 let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience.

4.) Because we don’t get a new mind or body (only a new spirit) when we get saved, our memory is still full of our past life experiences and habits. Therefore, we are still susceptible to those old emotions and feelings of defeat, guilt and shame. To overcome our past and move forward in Christ there are some key things we should do:

a.) We must make sure “all doors are closed to every known sin in our life”. We must seek to die out to our sin. Sin is what brings guilt, shame and condemnation into our lives. God is not the author of these things but sin is. God came to save us from sin. He lovingly invites us to have godly sorrow that

will result in motivating us to repent and change as we recognize sins devastating consequences. Guilt never motivates us, it only makes us feel dirty and beats us down and blinds us to the real consequences that we are suffering from. It keeps us in a constant cycle of repeating sin and reaping it’s consequences.

Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who don't walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

Joh 3:17 For God sent NOT his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

Rom 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

2Co 7:10 For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.

Rom 6:6-7 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin.

b.) We must realize that the devil’s job is to “condemn and accuse” us of who we used to be and what we used to do. We must continually “remind him” that we have been forgiven and cleansed by the blood of Jesus!

Rev 12:10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.

Col 1:14 In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins.

Isa 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.

1Co 6:9-11 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

c.) We must realize that the devil’s job is to “lie” to us. He will surpass the Word of God that says that we are a new creature and lie to us by telling us that we are still who we were in the past. We must “cast those lies and imaginations down” with the Word of God and declare who Christ says we are.

Joh 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

2Co 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2Co 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

Rom 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

d.) We must “reach forth and take a hold” of the new things that God has for us. We must quit looking behind at the way we were, the things we did and how we lived our life. We have to let go of it all and start “embracing the new things” that God is doing in our life and the “new fruit” that God wants to bring forth into our life. We must start seeing our life as a temple for God’s righteousness and holiness to dwell in.

Php 3:13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.

Rom 6:19-23 I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness. For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

Eph 4:24 and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

Lesson Seven: Receiving the Holy Spirit

(Walking in newness of life and the freedom that the spirit brings)

1.) Where God’s spirit is there is liberty. A freedom from sin, bondage and deception.

2Co 3:17 -18 Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

a.) Our enemy, the devil, takes people captive by way of bondage to sin. He seeks to devour and destroy their lives so they never experience Gods freedom.

2Ti 2:25-26 In humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

b.) We CAN be liberated and free! Jesus came to destroy the devils work.

I Jh 3:8 For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.

2.) God, his Spirit and his Word are the sources that bring our freedom.

Joh 8:32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Joh 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Joh 17:17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.

Joh 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

3.) How do we get this freedom for ourselves?

a.) After we have repented, we worship God. What is God? He is a spirit. Our freedom comes through the baptism of his spirit and his spirit will come to us through our worship.

Joh 4:24 God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth."

b.) His spirit will allow us to be birthed into his kingdom.

Eze 36:26-27 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.

Joh 3:5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say to you, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

Rom 8:9 But you are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.

c.) After our mental faith and belief in him, we seek him in worship and he will pour out his spirit upon us. It is his promised gift of comfort to all who believe.

Mat 3:11 I indeed baptize you with water to repentance: but he that comes after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Spirit, and with fire.

Mar 16: 17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues.

Luk 11:13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!"

Joh 7:38-39 He that believes on me, as the scripture has said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. (But this spoke he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Spirit was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)

Joh 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said to you.

Act 2:38 Then Peter said to them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Act 19:2-6 He said to them, Have you received the Holy Spirit since you believed? And they said to him, We have not so much as heard whether there be any Holy Spirit. And he said to them, "Into what then were you baptized?" So they said, "Into John's baptism." Then Paul said, "John indeed baptized with a baptism of repentance, saying to the people that they should believe on Him who would come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus." When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. And when Paul had laid hands on them, the Holy Spirit came upon them, and they spoke with tongues and prophesied.

Eph 5:18 But be filled with the Spirit.

4.) Our Lord declared victory over his death through his resurrection. After we have died to sin in repentance, we declare our victory through his resurrection. It is then, through the power of his spirit that “we are able to rise to walk in newness of life.”

Rom 6:4-5 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection.

Luk 24:49 And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry in the city of Jerusalem, until you be endued with power from on high.

Act 1:8 But you shall receive power, after that the Holy Spirit is come upon you.

1Th 1:5 For our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy Spirit and in much assurance, as you know what kind of men we were among you for your sake.

5.) The spirit of God doesn’t give us a new mind but “a new spirit”. That is why we need more than just the Word of God which renews and changes our mind; we need the spirit of God to change our heart. It changes our inner man and heart which was hardened, rebellious and resistant. God’s spirit allows us to experience the divine nature of God to become God like. Our heart becomes tender, receiving and loving.

Eze 11:19-20 And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh: That they may walk in my statutes, and keep mine ordinances, and do them: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God.

2Co 3:6 Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.

6.) The spirit of God gives us power to “overcome the lust of our flesh”. There will always be a war between our spirit man and our flesh.

Gal 5:16 -25 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Rom 8:13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

Mat 26:41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

7.) The spirit of God brings “power to overcome our enemy”.

Isa 59:19 So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.

8.) The spirit of God helps us “pray with intercession”.

Rom 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

Eph 6:18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.

9.) The spirit of God helps to “build up our faith”.

Jud 1:20 But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit.

10.) The spirit of God gives us power to “be a witness”.

Act 1:8 But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.

11.) The spirit of God teaches us “spiritual things”.

Joh 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

12.) The spirit of God “bears righteous and godly fruit” into character.

2Co 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Gal 5:22-24 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law and they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

Eph 4:24 And that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

1 Tim 6:11 But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.

Lesson Eight: Letting go of unforgiveness

(Allowing our heart to be free to love)

1.) What does it mean to forgive others?

a.) It means to let go of or cancel a debt that is owed to you.
b.) It means that you make a conscience choice to absorb the cost yourself by

letting go of the burden and restrictions of bitterness, anger, rage or unresolved emotions connected to a person or event.

Mat 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

2.) What forgiveness is NOT.

a.) A feeling. Nobody ever feels like forgiving.
b.) Justifying or making right what the person did.
c.) Forgetting what was done.
d.) Relieving the other person of his or her responsibilities. They are still responsible

and accountable to God for their actions. (I must release God to work)

3.) The attitude behind true forgiveness.

a.) Obedience and Humility – A willingness to give something that perhaps they don’t deserve.
b.) Submission to God- surrendering to God not just the issue, the other person or the symptoms but our self, our feelings and our woundedness. When you surrender to God you are resisting the devil’s plan by affirming that you can’t do it on your own and are relying on God to help you do the things you need to do.

c.) A desire to draw in close to the Lord. d.) A willingness to be cleansed from sin.

Jas 4:6-8 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

4.) Why we should forgive.
a.) It is the nature of God and we should want to take on his nature.

Psa 86:5 For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee.
Luk 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

b.) Because emotional pain, anger, resentment and bitterness can control our life, torment us and negatively affect and destroy our relationships with God and others as well as affect our health. They act like a cancer that starts small then spreads to other areas of our body.

Heb 12:15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.

c.) Because we are able to have liberty and freedom in our heart to worship.

Eph 4:30-31 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.
2Co 3:17 Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

Gal 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

d.) Because by forgiving we deny Satan access to our heart and the torment of unforgiveness.

2Co 2:10-11 Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.

5.) The reasons we CAN forgive though it seems hard to do.

a.) Because the Lord has forgiven us. We will never have to forgive anybody else more than he has forgiven us. When we were guilty and deserved to be punished for our sin, he wrote off our debt by dying on the cross and bearing all our guilt and shame.

Rom 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

b.) Because we acknowledge our own current and future need for mercy and forgiveness therefore we can give the same to others.

Mat 6:14-15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Mar 11:25-26 "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses."

Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Col 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

6.) True and complete forgiveness requires some promises.

a.) We promise not to make the offender pay by reminding him of what he has done in an effort to control or condemn.

b.) We promise not to dwell on the offense anymore by playing it over and over again in our mind which only forms strongholds which create bondage.

c.) We promise to not bring up the offense to others in an attempt to slander or belittle. (We only need to bring it up if using as a testimony of God’s healing.)

d.) We promise not to withhold love from them but ask God to help us love them.

e.) We promise not to seek revenge but let God judge and deal with them.

Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

Rom 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

7.) Forgiving others involves making restitution. When we know we have hurt others or they have something against us then we should humbly apologize and ask for their forgiveness. By doing this we rid our self of possible bitterness and future offense. Even if they don’t want to reconcile we must obey the scriptures as well as keep the door open for future reconciliation in hopes that repentance may occur one day.

Mat 5:23-24 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Mar 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any.

8.) The Greek word “Aphiemi” is one of the most common words that surfaces when speaking of forgiveness. It means to let go, to give up a debt, to forgive, to remit or to hurl away. As you seek to forgive, you will let go of sinful emotions and attitudes to take a hold of the beautiful fruit that God has for you.

a.) When we forgive we let go of anger to find joy. We let go of hatred to find love. We let go of dysfunction to find stability, we let go of judgment to find compassion, we let go of our identity of a neglected child to walk into our identity as God’s child.

Gal 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Lesson Nine: Letting go of sinful anger

(Allowing our heart to be free from disappointment and free to have joy)

1.) Anger is good when we see the injustice and unrighteousness done to us or another and we allow it to motivate us to take godly constructive action and to make changes that heal. Jesus got angry many times for a just cause yet never sinned.

1.) He got angry at the Pharisees who missed the point of the law (Mk 3:5)
2.) He got angry and drove the money changers out of the temple (Matt 21:12) 3.) He got angry with Solomon who turned his heart from him. (I Kgs 11:9)
4.) He is angry with the wicked. (Ps 7:11)
5.) We too can and should be rightfully angry about injustice such as fraud, deception, abuse & sin and the devastating effect that it has on people.

2.) When we see the injustice and unrighteousness done to us or another and instead of allowing it to be a godly anger that changes and brings healing, we allow it to fester into unforgiveness, bitterness and wrath, it becomes sinful anger. This kind of anger does not produce the righteousness of God. It is the kind of anger that causes harm and it is the kind of anger that will keep us from entering heaven. We are to put off this kind of anger and not allow the enemy any place in our heart.

Eph 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. (Anger is acceptable but not when it leads to sin. Don’t let anger remain and grow because then it can develop into bitterness and other things in which the devil then has opportunity and a place in which to destroy our godly character.)

Psa 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath. Do not fret—it only causes harm. Jas 1:20 For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Gal 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Col 3:8 But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.

3.) Anger has a lot to do with our self and our inner feelings because it deals with the injustice and unrighteousness done to us. When we have been wounded, violated, hurt, rejected or abused we have not been treated with justice. Therefore, we are prone to have unrealistic expectations and feelings of entitlement from others and how they should treat us. We think we should be treated perfectly and that no one should ever hurt us or fall short of our desires or needs again.

We become defensive and we rise up in anger and use it as a weapon to protect our self at all cost even it means us being demanding, unforgiving, harmful or destructive. Our feelings of what we should be entitled to and our self protective defense mechanisms must be dealt with and worked through for us to experience victory over our anger.

a.) We can work through feelings of entitlement from others by realizing that
We will get hurt, persecuted and mistreated from others as long as we live in a sinful and imperfect world. No one wants to be hurt but that doesn’t justify being self protective to the point that we are defensive and reacting in sinful anger with bitterness, unforgiveness and wrath. Revenge belongs to the Lord. According to scripture, If someone hurts us we are to take godly action by taming our tongue and talking with them in the spirit of kindness, making peace if possible, forgiving them and not repaying them evil with evil.

1Pe 2:21-23 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: "WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH"; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;

Jas 3:7-10 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.

Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Rom 12:17-21 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves,(don’t take private revenge which flows from anger and ill-will) but rather give place to wrath (give wrath it’s rightful place in God in that you don’t answer wrath with wrath but with love rather); for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. Therefore "IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM; IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP COALS OF FIRE ON HIS HEAD." (when you give and love you have the potential of melting them into repentance and friendship or making their wrath inexcusable.) Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.(don’t let the evil overcome or steal your peace, or destroy your love but rather conquer it with your patience, forbearance and kindness.)

b.) We can work through unrealistic expectations regarding our circumstances by realizing that true joy is based upon our belief in the Lord and what we do, not a result of our circumstances. God or bad ones, God often uses our circumstances and hard trials to “reveal the spiritual condition of our heart”, to “reveal if we really love him and will obey him” and to “perfect our character in him”.

Php 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

Deu 8:2 And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or not.

Jas 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, (hard circumstances),knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

Rom 5:3-4 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope

c.) We can work through unrealistic expectations regarding our suffering by realizing that God often uses our suffering to bring about many great things in us. Suffering refines our faith, works for the good, causes us to know him in a more intimate way, perfects our strength in him, and allows others to see the works and power of God being manifest.

2Co 12:9-10 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

1Pe 5:10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Php 3:10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death.

Jh 9:3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

d.) We can work through our anger with God. Many feel angry with God over things they feel were injustices because he did not come to their rescue. We must realize though that we are living in a fallen, sinful, evil world that consist of people’s choices and consequences. If God miraculously averted all the evil and it’s consequences he would also be removing all our freedom. For freedom requires the option to disobey as well as to obey. Many evils happen as a result of other’s choices to disobey God.

e.) We can work through our anger with God by realizing that his ways are not our ways therefore, we do not have to understand him but TRUST him.

Pro 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

4.) Sinful anger is revealed in the way that we “react to others” in moments of disappointment, hurt, conflict or rejection.

a.) We may react by stuffing our anger inside in a passive way. This is usually so we can avoid conflict instead of dealing with it. This is a form of retaliation which leads to building barriers of bitterness and unforgiveness inside of us that then leads to withholding love and respect from others.

b.) We may react by losing self control and exploding externally. We use our anger as a weapon by throwing things, yelling, getting mad, fighting, cursing or other things. This is a form of retaliation which leads to harming and shaming others and or our self.

5.) How to respond to the hurt or disappointment of others in a godly way instead of reacting in anger to them.

a. ) Realize that the person is not your enemy, but Satan is. Therefore tackle only the issues not the person.

Eph 6:12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

b.) Honor the person as a person whom God loves therefore your intention is to love them with God’s love, not hurt them or be bitter against them, even if you don’t approve or agree with their behavior.

Rom 13:10 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Mar 11:26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your

trespasses.

c.) Speak to them with a gentle spirit that turns away wrath.

Pro 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

d.) Practice self control over your emotions instead of letting them control you. When you blow up or go off on others, you are allowing your emotions to control you. Your feelings are indicators but they don’t have to be dictators on how you have to act.

1Pe 5:8 Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
Gal 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

e.) Refuse to act out your feelings of hurt rather seek to honestly communicate

your feelings in the spirit of humility and love.

Pro 15:26 But the words of the pure are pleasant.
Pro 27:5 Open rebuke (to lay a matter before someone) is better than love carefully concealed.
Eph 4:15 ; 29 ... speaking the truth in love (29) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

f.) Listen to the other person’s perspective and try to understand them incase you have overlooked or misunderstood things.

Jas 1:19-20 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

g.) Surrender the other persons failures, weaknesses and differences to God. Only God can change people as well as bring true consequences for them to learn by. We can only encourage and influence them.

Jer 17:10 I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.

h.) Draw boundaries if needed by setting limits, separating, or saying no in an effort to make changes that will help heal and grow the relationship.

6.) Unresolved anger leads to depression. We are called to take constructive action with other’s and with ourselves when we are deeply angry. When we fail to do this then unresolved anger becomes a dark cloud over our lives. The heaviness of all the injustice settles into our emotions and we become lethargic toward life and are no longer interested in things that we once were.

Psa 42:11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Hab 3:18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.

7.) Anger is apart of the stages of grief. We can naturally feel angry over our loss. Why did it happen? Many emotions of anger can be present. We must deal with our anger though and not allow our self to get stuck there. We must move on to the realities of what has happened, feel all the feelings, share and committe them to the Lord and to others whom we can trust, receive needed comfort and accept the loss by placing our trust in God and his provision and comfort.

a.) We deny- This cannot be true!
b.) We get angry – Why did this have to happen?
c.) We bargain – If things could have been different!
d.) We get depressed – All my hope is gone!
e.) We accept – I have felt the pain, walked through the process, then accepted the loss by trusting the Lord.
f. David experienced the loss of his baby as a consequence for his sin, However, He went through the grieving process with victory in the end. (II Sam 12:19-20)

Lesson Ten: Letting Go of controlling fears

(Allowing our heart to be free from worry and free to trust)

1.) As a result of our wounding and the fact that our trust may have been violated we may have fears to release to God. When we don’t trust others we erect walls of fear in our heart. This fear creates a lot of problems such as not being able to be real, vulnerable and open with others. Not being able to take risk in loving others and receiving love. Not being able to take risk to make changes that may be needed for healing and growth and not being able to fully trust God. God commanded us NOT to live in fear and be afraid but to have courage, faith and to trust in him.

Psa 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

Jos 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Psa 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

2.) When we release fear we are “releasing falsehood and deception”. It is said that fear means, “false evidence appearing real.” The devil, who is the father of all lies, will use fear to deceive us in making the fear of something seem worse than the thing itself. We must ask God for HIS confidence so that we can face the fear.

Pro 14:26 In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.

3.) When we release fear we are “releasing our vulnerability to be real about our self” with our failures and inadequacies. Fear keeps us locked in and afraid of being rejected rather than being honest and allowing God’s love to free us. By being grounded in God’s love we can be free to let our guard down because we can trust his love that empowers us and calms our mind. By being real with others, we are able to experience support and love from others which brings true freedom in our relationships.

Deu 31:6 Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you.

1Jn 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. (Amp version: There is no fear in

love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection].

2Ti 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (Amp version: For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.)

Jas 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

4.) When we release fear we are “releasing doubt”. Fear and doubt is the opposite of faith. Fear is based on our feelings as it looks inward to the inadequacies of our flesh. Faith is based on God’s truth and looks upward to the potential and power of God. Without faith we cannot please God.

Mat 14:31 And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

a.) Faith comes to us by hearing the Word of God and acting on what it declares is true regarding God, ourselves and life.

Rom 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Joh 8:31-32 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, "If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

Joh 17:17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.

Heb 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him

b.) Faith believes in God and his word in spite of what it does or doesn’t see.

2Co 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.
Heb 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 1Co 2:5 That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

5.) When we release fear we are “releasing worry”. Worry brings anxiety and stress because it does not rely on and trust God to provide and protect. When we trust the Lord we are fully relying on him and his power for all of our needs and security.

Mat 6:31-33 "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear? For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Php 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Pro 3:5-7 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

Jer 17:7-8 Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD.
For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit.

6. ) When we release fear we are able to “trust in God’s sovereignty”. His sovereignty means that he is the “Most high who has ultimate and supreme power”. He is in control of our present and future. There is no evil force, no person, no chance, no randomness, no anything that is higher than God.

Psa 47:2 For the LORD Most High is awesome; He is a great King over all the earth.

Col 1:16-17 For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.

a.) Trusting his sovereignty means that even when something happens that God does not will (or purpose) to happen in our life we do not despair because we trust in him to work good in the situation.

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

b.) Trusting his sovereignty means that when things happen outside of God’s will due to sin, living in a fallen world or as a result of people’s sinful choices, we do not despair because we know that evil events and sin do not rule our world but God does. We trust in him knowing he has the ultimate authority and power and will one day judge each person as well as repay with his vengeance.

Heb 10:30 For we know Him who said, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. And again, "THE LORD WILL JUDGE HIS PEOPLE."

c.) When we choose not to trust in the Lord’s sovereign control then it is our human tendency to control people, our situations and circumstances. It is through our committed trust in him that he gives us our desires not through our efforts to control our life.

Psa 37:4-5 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass

d.) The result of trusting God is a peaceful mind and heart.

Isa 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Joh 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

7.) When we release fear we are able to “surrender all of our self to God in trust and humility and take risk in whatever task the Lord will ask us to do.” Like children who have to humbly trust that their parents know more than them in their maturity and the reasoning behind things, we must trust in the Lord even when we don’t understand his ways. a.) Many in the Bible, though they faced fearful situations, trusted God and were obedient even when it didn’t make sense to them personally. He promised to be with them as well as reward them for their obedience.

F- fully
A-abandoned to God I- in
T-trust &
H-humility

Gen 12:1 Now the LORD had said to Abram: "Get out of your country, From your family And from your father's house, To a land that I will show you. (15:1) After these things the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision, saying, "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward."

Jos 1:9 Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

2Ch 20:15 And he said, "Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the LORD to you: 'Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's.

1Ki 17:13,15 And Elijah said to her, Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. So she went away and did according to the word of Elijah; and she and he and her household ate for many days.

Lesson Eleven: Letting go of the fear of failure

(Embracing the power to change)

1.) We don’t like failure because we are embarrassed and ashamed for our self. We blew it by giving into our desires. We made an awful mistake and we feel crushed and ashamed. We realize that we have real problems with our self and really need to change. (II Sam 12~ The story of David’s failure and sin with Bathseba and his murder)

a.) It helps us and becomes our friend when we allow it to make us look inward to examine our heart. We stop the rush. We look inward to see our sinful tendencies. We cry out to God for his help. We sorrow our sin. We repent.

b.) It hurts us and becomes our enemy when we run and deny and bury our hurt which only leaves us angry inside. We try to act as if everything is okay yet become very defensive, arrogant and edgy around others.

Psa 51:2-13 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight— That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me. Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, That the bones You have broken may rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, And blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners shall be converted to You.

c.) It helps our relationships when we confess to another because they give us prayer support and encouragement. We aren’t alone. We open the door for others to walk in and to know us and lift us up. This opens the door for connection and friendship.

d.) It hurts our relationships when we isolate and move away from others. We fear them knowing us which provides a barrier in our relationship that keeps it from going anywhere. We are not able to have their support. Sometimes the Lord will use someone and talk to them and that person will find us and seek to help us anyway. (God did this with Nathan for David).

Jas 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

2.) We don’t like failure because we experience feelings of guilt, condemnation and shame that kills our motivation to live in the light and be free to worship. We feel like hiding, escaping, and feel like we may not ever get back to the place of victory again.

a.) It helps us and becomes our friend when we realize the heaviness we are bearing is too heavy so we run to God for forgiveness and mercy. We become humble realizing we cant’ hide or escape from God but we must look right into his face to see that he already bore our pain, shame and guilt himself on the cross. He is the only thing that can truly free us from our self condemnation and guilt through his mercy

and grace which are both given outside of my deserving. All of our defenses die out because we see the love of God and how much he really loves us then we have true freedom to worship and experience a real break through.

Pro 28:13 He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy

b.) It hurts us and becomes our enemy when we allow depression and discouragement to overwhelm us and we run to sin to make us feel better and to numb us from the bad feelings we have. We sin with substances, immorality, material things, by gaining power, gambling, over eating or other kinds of things. All of which only bring more guilt and condemnation and keep us spiraling in a cycle of no victory.

Psa 32:10 Many sorrows shall be to the wicked; But he who trusts in the LORD, mercy shall surround him.

c.) It helps our relationships because we are able to experience the true restoration of other’s who extend their hearts in love and mercy. It puts our hearts in the condition of honest humility about our shortcomings therefore, allows us to become less critical, judgmental and condemning of others.

Gal 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

3.) We don’t like failure because we know there will be correction, discipline and responsibilities to deal with. We know we will need to try to do better, work through our problem and get a hold of some answers and wisdom so we don’t make the same fall again. It will take some work and seeking God!

a.) It helps us and becomes our friend when we embrace God’s wisdom and word for true answers. We start seeking him for our self and for our victory. We have a desire to see change within us and we start searching and digging in. We take what the enemy was gonna use to destroy us to better us, to shape us, to develop us and to become a testimony of his grace and transformation power.

Jer 29:13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. Psa 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes.

b.) It hurts us and becomes our enemy when we don’t seek real change but make excuse for it as just another weak area within us. This only leads to another failure down the road. It sets us up for continual cycle of defeat. We must not only be hearers of the Word but doers of the Word. The Word must be doing something in us.

c.) It helps our relationships because we gain wisdom and learn from others and how they overcame. They bring hope through their testimony and how God has changed and helped them. God designed the body of Christ to be a family that edifies each other.

2Co 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

1 Peter 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.

Mark 5:19 Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.

Gal 6:6 Let him who is taught the word share in all good things with him who teaches.

4.) We don’t like failure because it involves consequences. Its puts us in the position to have to become responsible and accountable for the way that we have acted. What we do usually always influences others in some way. Our actions impact others for the good or the bad.

Gal 6:7-8 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.

a.) It helps us and becomes our friend when we allow the consequences to bring a heart of obedience and submission towards God. We no longer have the desire to do things our way but to be obedient and yield to the spirit and ways of God. We see the unbearable consequences and we submit to God’s ways.

Heb 5:8 Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.

b.) It hurts us and becomes our enemy when we refuse to allow the consequences to bring obedience and submission to our life. We continue on until total destruction happens and the damage becomes so great that we lose our sanity, our real freedoms and all of our relationships are destroyed.

c.) It helps our relationships because through our obedience and by taking responsibility for our consequences our trust with others is being restored and healed. They see that we are working to improve all relationships and this brings hope to them that they may be able to trust us again.

Lesson Twelve: Letting go of negative attitudes

(Allowing our heart to be free from five negative attitudes that hinder our freedom)

1.) Negative attitudes can come out of our wounding and be a reflection of things in our heart still such as unforgiveness, anger, fear and pride. As we release these things to God, our attitude will begin to change. Negative attitudes of discontentment, unthankfulness, criticism, hopelessness and fears should not be apart of our attitude anymore. Our emotions and feelings are indicators that something is wrong and we can deal with them but they do not have to be dictators for the way that we act anymore. With Christ help we can develop new attitudes of thankfulness, contentment, encouragement, hope, and peace and act on these attitudes with the way that we talk and live out our lives.

Pro 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

2.) Guard against attitudes of COMPARISON:

a.) We compare our weaknesses with others strengths making us feel that everybody else is happier, better and stronger than we are.
b.) We feel more inadequate when we compare ourselves with others because we are only looking at their strengths and not their weaknesses.

c.) Even in our wounding we have secret treasures that we have gained no other way. d.) We all have weaknesses as well as strengths, gifts and talents that are God given. e.) Comparing ourselves with others promotes discontentment with who we are.
f.) We need to ask God what our strengths, abilities and talents are then we can seek to develop them and thank him for who he made us and how he’s blessed us.

2Co 10:12-13 For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. But we will not boast of things without our measure, but according to the measure of the rule which God hath distributed to us, a measure to reach even unto you.

3.) Guard against attitudes of COMPLAINING:

a.) We feel we are entitled to certain treatment from others since maybe we have been hurt in the past and life or others haven’t treated us fairly.
b.) We focus on the problems in situations rather than on the solutions.
c.) We are ignoring the good of what we DO have while being focused on the bad of what we don’t have.

d.) Complaining promotes self pity and unthankfulness
e.) We need to look for the good and practice being thankful for all things and in all situations. We need to work on solutions to our problems instead of complaining.

Num 11:1 Now when the people complained, it displeased the LORD; for the LORD heard it, and His anger was aroused. So the fire of the LORD burned among them, and consumed some in the outskirts of the camp.

Php 2:14 Do all things without murmurings and disputings.
1Th 5:18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

Tim 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

4.) Guard against attitudes of CRITICISM:

a.) We tear down and look for the wrong instead of building up and looking for the good of other’s and situations.
b.) In efforts to make our self look good we judge and belittle others while ignoring our own faults.
c.) Criticism promotes a condemning kind of judgment and ruins relationships because people fear being cut down and criticized.
d.) We need to practice encouraging, edifying, building up and seeing the good in people instead of the bad. If we are to teach them then we need to use the proper skills of good communication and love.

Mat 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

Rom 14:19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.

Eph 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

1Th 5:11 Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

Tit 3:2 To speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.

5.) Guard against attitudes of CYNICISM:

a.) We are sad, miserable, unhappy and poisoned by our wounds.
b.) Everything is a problem with NO solutions.
c.) Everybody is incompetent, dangerous or a personal threat to our happiness.
d.) Cynicism promotes hopelessness and a lack of trust in God!
e.) We need to focus on building up our faith in God’s Word by reading it, hearing it and fellowshipping with those that live by it.

1Co 2:5 That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Heb 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

6. Guard against COMPULSIVITY or CONTROL:

a.) A feeling of being in control and driven to have everything not just right but perfect. b.) A feeling that nothing one does is good enough unless it is perfect. Things like having perfect grades, a perfect body, perfect performance, a perfect house and more. c.) The belief that we are failures if things don’t go perfectly in our life.

d.) Compulsivity promotes fear. It is derived from fears like the fear of rejection, fear of failure and fear of disappointing others.
e.) Compulsive people make others nervous since they are not vulnerable and real but hiding who they really are.

f.) We need to release our fears to God and accept that we do have real weaknesses and are not perfect but that God can help us with our weaknesses. Our weaknesses and shortcomings are tools that God will use to teach us how to grow and to trust in him to help us. Trust will bring peace to all fear!

2Ti 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

John 15:5, "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing."

2Co 12:9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Matthew 11:28-30, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Goes with Lesson 12: Negative attitudes (comparison)

Comparison: We compare ourselves with others because we are not recognizing WHO is at work in our lives and HOW he is at work in our lives. We are focusing on what others are accomplishing instead of what we should be allowing God to accomplish in our own lives. We are focusing on the ways that others are talented, gifted or have strengths instead of the ways that God has given us talents, gifts and strengths. We then feel inadequate, bad and depressed about our self. When we start praising God for the person and beautiful work of creation that we are to him, discover the strengths that he has given us and develop the talents and abilities that he has blessed us with then we will have no time to be comparing our self with others.

1.) God is at work in your life. YOU are made for his glory and praise! You are made uniquely and wonderfully and in God’s image! Become thankful and appreciative to God for his handiwork and his creation in you. Quit feeling bad about yourself and who you are. Agree with his word on who you are to him.

Isa 43:7 Everyone who is called by My name, Whom I have created for my glory; I have formed him, yes, I have made him.

1Pe 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

2.) He is working through your temperament. God designed you individually with unique traits and strengths within your personality called temperaments. Discover your temperament and thank God for your God given personality strengths.

a.) Extrovert Personality: get their energy recharged when they are with people. Usually feel lonely when they are not around people enough.

b.) Introvert Personality: get their energy recharged when they spend time alone. Usually feel drained when they are around people to much.

c.) Personality Temperaments:

Choleric -the worker who is strong willed, decisive, determined, independent, practical yet can be proud, impatient, workaholic, domineering.
Sanguine -the talker who is enthusiastic, friendly, personable, warm, outgoing but can be loud, weak-willed, unstable, fearful and restless.
Phlegmatic -the watcher who is calm, dependable, efficient, reserved, stable but can be selfish, timid, uninvolved, worrier and compromising.

• Melancholic- the thinker who is creative, gifted, idealistic, orderly, perfectionist, analytical but can be moody, negative, critical, insecure and unsociable.

3.) While your temperament is to be a strength and blessing for God to use, it can also become a weakness. Are you recognizing the weak areas of your personality so that you can bear good fruit in these areas?

4.) Besides your temperament, God has given you talents, abilities and skills to develop, grow and become God competent in. They are to be used in the context of his will for you life. You can apply your strengths in these talents and abilities.

a.) Leadership, teaching, education, counseling, creative communication, encouragement, mercy, giving, hospitality, music and creative arts, administration, craftsmanship, building, repairing, intercession, evangelism and more.

Heb 13:21 Make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen

Php 2:13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

b.) For our God given talents and abilities to be a blessing, we must have a “willing heart” to give them for the service of the kingdom.

Mat 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

Exo 35:29 The children of Israel brought a willing offering unto the LORD, every man and woman, whose heart made them willing to bring for all manner of work, which the LORD had commanded to be made by the hand of Moses.

c.) We must have a “teachable heart” to use our God given talents and abilities so we can learn how to grow and expand our knowledge and skill.

Pro 1:5 A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.

d.) We must have a “faithful and committed heart” for our God given talents and abilities to remain a blessing.

1Co 4:2 Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful.

Ecc 9:10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.

1Ti 1:11-12- According to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which was committed to my trust. And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry.

e.) We must have a “servant attitude and motive” while offering our talents and abilities. Our motives become selfish and self centered when we are focused on being better than others. Our motive should be to be great for God not greater than others.

1Pe 4:10 As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

Mat 20:26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister.

Php 2:2-4 Fill up and complete my joy by living in harmony and being of the same mind and one in purpose, having the same love, being in full accord and of one harmonious mind and intention.Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in the true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves]. Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others.

5.) Your strengths, talents and abilities are for Gods glory.

Gal 6:14 But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.

1Co 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

6.) Are you using, offering and developing your temperament, strengths, abilities and talents for Gods kingdom?

a.) Ask God to show you what you have a passion for in the kingdom?.... Something you are concerned about, care about and feel a burden for

Goes with lesson 12: Negative attitudes -Controlling

Releasing controlling mechanisms with others

1.) A fruit of FEAR and insecurity is not being able to trust other’s choices or decisions but being afraid of what may or may not happen as a result. Instead of trusting other’s choices and letting them claim the responsibility for their choices, we try to control and manipulate them into what or how we want them to feel, do, say or act. It is easy to be controlling when one’s trust has been violated by someone because to control becomes a mechanism whereby one is protected from further harm.

a.) We control others by trying to make decisions and choices for them instead of rightfully letting them make their own.

b.) We control others by handling their responsibilities instead of letting them be responsible.

c.) We control others by rescuing them from paying consequences and learning from their wrong choices and decisions.

2.) Controlling others is damaging not helpful.

a.) It hampers their growth and maturity because it demotivates them to learn, to make decisions for them selves and become independent of others.

b.) It inhibits them from taking up personal responsibilities and robs them of their own creativity and reward.

c.) It inhibits them from knowing how to deal with failure and consequences when they fail or make mistakes.

d.) It decreases their desire to share their true self, true feelings and connect with you because you have assumed the control over them in what they do, think, feel and say.

3.) Characteristics of controlling people.

a.) They struggle when others DISAGREE with them and don’t want to do what they want them to do.

b.) They use MANIPULATIVE behaviors to get their way. They usually don’t recognize them as wrong or harmful. It’s just the way they have learned to COPE with uncomfortable or painful emotions.

c.) They struggle with attitudes of ENTITLEMENT as well as UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS of how others should be or how they should treat them.

4.) Common ways one tends to control and manipulate others.

a.) Arguing: You don’t take NO for an answer! You continue to make YOUR point over and over again until the person is worn down. It’s NOT okay for anyone to disagree or have their own opinion outside of yours.
b.) Begging: You beg and plead until someone changes their mind. They are NOT allowed to say no.

c.) Bargaining: You use bribes to get people to do or not do what YOU want. You use favors as a means to manipulate people into doing something they don’t really want to do.

d.) Guilt trips: You tell people if they don’t do what YOU think they should do they are not a good person and that you will be mad at them.

e.) Micromanaging: You will not allow people to make their own decisions or handle their own life or problems without asking YOUR permission.

f.) Misquoting or Twisting: You twist what others say to suit YOUR own purposes.

g.) Play Holy Spirit: YOU try to hold someone accountable to a change that they have NOT initiated themselves through the Holy Spirit convicting them.

h.) Promises: You use a promise to get someone to do something YOU want them to do as part of bribing them.

i.) Punishment: You use physical, sexual, economic ,verbal pressure or abuse to punish others for not doing what YOU think they should do. These things make you feel justified since they won’t stop, change or admit they were wrong.

j.) Irritation or silence: You won’t speak with someone or treat them kindly until they change and do what YOU want.

k.) Threats: You threaten someone when they won’t do what YOU want them to do, by threatening to leave them, hurt them, or destroy something they love.

5.) Biblical ways to rid ourselves of controlling behaviors:

a.) We can replace our fears and insecurities with trusting in the Lord who will never fail us, forsake us and is working things out for our good.

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

2Ti 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

1Jn 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

b.) We can wait on the LORD to move in tough situations as well as to move others to action. We cannot manipulate them into doing something they don’t want to do.

Psa 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Eph 6:18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.

c.) We can realize that God receives honor when people make the choice to seek him and his ways. God receives no honor when we make choices for others that they can make for themselves.

Heb 11:25 Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season.

Php 2:12-13 Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

d.) We can encourage and influence people in love and truth when their wrong rather than argue, threaten, irritate or abuse them.

Co 13:4-16 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.

Eph 4:2,15 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; (15) But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.

Rom 14:19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.

e.) We can allow them to suffer the consequences of their own behavior knowing this is the only way they will learn to fear God and seek repentance.

Gal 6:7-8 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

Job 4:8 Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same.

1Jn 1:8-9 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

f.) We can trust that God through the working of the Holy Spirit will deal with them and bring them to a place of maturity.

Joh 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.

Pro 3:11-13 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.

Joh 15:1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.

1Pe 5:10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

Lesson Thirteen: Embracing God’s plan for our past

(Finding God’s purpose)

1.) God’s plan for our past is that “it becomes one of the greatest inspirations for our love and intimate worship toward God”. It is a constant reminder to us continually of all the things that God has forgiven us of. Jesus met us at the point of our pain not our perfection. He met us as a sinner who was lost. He changed our lives when we get saved and transformed our heart.

Rom 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Luk 7:47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

2.) God’s plan for our past is that “it becomes a teacher of wisdom to learn from for the future.” The suffering, the choices and the consequences can teach us many powerful truths about our self, life and God.

Job 34:32 That which I see not teach thou me: if I have done iniquity, I will do no more.

Psa 119:71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

3.) God’s purpose for our past is that “it may be a testimony of hope and comfort to other’s who are hurting and needing hope.” God wants to recycle our pain so others’ can draw hope.

2Co 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

1 Peter 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.

Mark 5:19 Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.

4.) God’s purpose for our past is to reveal that “only the spirit of Christ can truly save, heal and transform a life”.